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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23608639">The Life I Left Behind</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/captainamergirl/pseuds/captainamergirl'>captainamergirl</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>One Life to Live</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Jarty</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 08:20:25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,688</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23608639</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/captainamergirl/pseuds/captainamergirl</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Marty returns to Llanview 3 years after breaking up with John.</p>
<p>{Note: This is AU because I'm completely doing away with the "Marty Turns Into a Crazy Killer Overnight" crap storyline the writers of OLTL pulled out of their butts!}</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>John McBain/Marty Saybrooke, Starr Manning/Cole Thornhart</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>In this, Marty left town after she lost John's baby (following being shoved down the stairs). No one ever really discovered the real culprit either in this so hang on tight for a very wild ride back to Jarty!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>Chapter 1</strong>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span> She couldn't believe she was returning to Llanview after all this time. She also couldn't believe that her own son was on trial. Again. This time for murdering someone. Supposedly in cold blood. She knew he couldn't have done it, he had sworn to her on the phone just last night that he was innocent and Marty believed in him. She knew her son. She knew what he was capable of and it wasn't this. No matter how much they had both hated that monster Todd Manning...</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span> Marty shook her head and turned to look out the window, feeling ashamed as a tear rolled down her cheek. She felt pathetic for coming apart this way in public but she also knew as a psychiatrist that every person had their breaking point. And she had reached hers a long time ago.</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <em>Cole, it's okay,</em>
  <span> she said inside her mind. </span>
  <em>It's okay. I believe in you and somehow I know others will too. At least, I have to believe that. I have to.</em>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span> She had been flabbergasted to say the least when Cole had informed her that it was John McBain who had come to arrest him the morning before. John. God, Marty had tried so hard not to think about him in the past three years and here she was doing that very thing. She was decidedly angry that he had had to have been the one to arrest her son, the young man he had always fought for and defended against the odds.</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span> She sighed and turned away from the window, instead settling back in her seat and trying to catch a piece of that elusive thing known as shut eye, or sleep.</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span> XoXoXo</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span> Marty reached the police station and was greeted by none other than Bo Buchanan at the door. He pulled her past a throng of reporters shouting questions at her the moment they recognized her. Her hair was shorter, less curly, but she still looked otherwise the same and the haunted look in her eyes had never quite gone away.</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span> Bo slammed the door shut and ushered her to his office immediately. He offered her a chair but she shook her head. "No, thank you. I want to see Cole. Now," she said. </span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span> "I know you want to see him, Marty, but the truth is he's been quite belligerent and hostile so we are monitoring who he sees right now."</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span> "I'm his mother. He's not going to attack me," Marty said indignantly. "Just tell me how much bail is going to cost, I'll write a check, and he can go home with me."</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span> "It's not that easy, Marty."</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span> "What do you mean?"</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span> "He might not be granted bail at all," Bo said, lowering his gaze from hers a bit. "They think he's a flight risk and our new mayor wants to make a public example out of him."</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span> Marty shook her head. "This is a nightmare. A total and complete nightmare..." She squared her shoulders then determinedly. "I will vouch for Cole. I will make sure he doesn't go anywhere. That has to mean something ... Just let me see my son."</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span> Suddenly the door opened behind them and Marty heard his voice. "Sorry, Bo, I didn't mean to interrupt - " His voice trailed off then as recognition set in. </span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span> "Marty."</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <em>Marty.</em>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span> Just one word; yet it said so much.</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span> Marty turned to look at him. "John," she said. "Hello."</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>
    <strong>Chapter 2</strong>
  </span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span> Her hair was a bit shorter but definitely much less curly - almost to the point of being nearly free of all the waves he used to love running his fingers through. Her eyes were hooded in obvious fatigue but she looked very much the same as she always had. Three years had not changed a lot about her, outwardly anyway. She even looked at him much the same way she had the night they agreed to end things and she moved out of his place at the motel for good. Warily, hesitantly, as if she were not sure she could really believe in him or trust in him. As if she had extreme doubts that she had ever really known him at all.</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span> "John," she said again, sounding very even and controlled. She paused for just a brief moment and then went barreling on, her voice much louder in tone this time. "Bo here says that my son may not be released on bail, and worse, that I can't even see him. I know that it's asking a lot of you, and I don't want to put you on the spot here, but please tell Bo that Cole needs me. I'm his mother. Someone has to stand by him after all."</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span> He was sure she had not intended it the way it sounded but to him, her last words sounded like a chastisement or worse, an accusation. She had to know that he had been the one to arrest Cole, lead him away from his own daughter and fiancée, while the little girl screamed for her "daddy" in fear and Starr herself had hung back, saying nothing. There had really been little she could say then. </span>
  <em>Her</em>
  <span> daughter's father was being arrested for her </span>
  <em>own</em>
  <span> father's murder. It had not been an easy or enviable situation for anyone and it still wasn't.</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span> John didn't blame Marty for believing that he had turned on Cole. He didn't like that she felt that way of course but he didn't blame her either.</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span> John finally spoke again. Seeing her had taken him by surprise for a long moment there, although of course, he should have known she would come the second she heard about this. She was and always had been an amazing mother. Still, John wished he could have been the one to break the news about Cole to her but that was not his place to do.</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span> "I know you want to be there for him, Marty, and I honestly don't blame you. Bo is just following standard procedure. We can't in any way show favoritism or -"</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span> Marty held up a hand. "I am sure that's true. After all, you had to be the one to lead him away, to arrest him in front of his own daughter."</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span> "That's not what it exactly boils down to but -"</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span> She interrupted him again. "C'mon, John. Please just work something out so I can see my son."</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span> John looked at her for a long moment then turned to Bo. "I'll go down with her and stay there. I can vouch for the fact that angry as he may be, Cole would never turn on Marty or hurt her."</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span> "I wish you would all believe that he was not capable of murdering Todd either," Marty said.</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span> Bo looked at John. "Fifteen minutes. They can have fifteen minutes. Then we have to bring him down to the courthouse for his arraignment."</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span> John nodded. Marty thanked Bo and then she and John walked out of Bo's office and towards the elevator.</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span> XoXoXo</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span> They said nothing on the way down to the holding area. They didn't even really look at each other - or at least, they tried hard not to do so. When the elevator doors slid open, Marty hurried out first and John had to actually rush ahead to keep up with her. They reached the outer-gate to the holding cells and Marty waited, clearly impatiently, while John unlocked the first gate. He did so and she pushed it back and hurried inside.</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span> "Cole!" Marty cried as soon as she had spotted her son sitting on the bottom bunk in one of the two holding cells. John noticed that indeed his hands were clearly bruised from where he had recently been punching the iron bars over and over again.</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span> Cole looked up and offered her a weak smile. "Hey, Mom," he said.</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span> Marty started to reach through the bars to grab Cole's hand but she stopped. "Your hand ..."</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span> "It's okay. I was pissed. I did this to myself."</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span> Marty cringed visibly and tears glistened in her eyes. "Oh, Cole..." She slowly reached for his left hand and kissed the purple knuckles. "It's okay, honey, you're going to be okay. We'll make sure of that. Then you can go home to your family where you belong and -" Her voice trailed off as she noticed Cole shaking his head. "What? What is it?"</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span> "I am pretty sure they aren't going to let me out anytime soon. The mayor has it in for me," Cole said. "On top of that, Starr doesn't really seem to believe I didn't do it. She actually seems to think I could actually kill her own father..."</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span> "She's upset right now, honey," Marty said. "People say and do crazy things sometimes when they're upset. Rationality is not the easiest thing to hold onto when -" Her voice trailed off too. "Never mind." She looked over at John with wide, imploring eyes. "Please open the gate so I can hug my son. I haven't seen him in awhile and I just want to check on him for myself, make sure he really is okay."</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span> "Marty, I can't -" John started.</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span> She held up a hand. "Show favoritism? Yeah, so I heard. But John, this isn't about favoritism. Its common decency and doing the right thing. Cole is innocent; deep down, you have to know that. He would never hurt me or anyone else. And dammit, I just want to hold my son, okay? So open the damn door!</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span> "Please," she added in a softer tone. "He needs me."</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span> John nodded and finally moved over to stand by Marty, unlocking the gate. He knew their "illustrious" new mayor would throw a fit about this but Marty was right. It was the right thing to do. Cole needed Marty and John could easily see that she needed him just as much.</span>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <span> He slid back the gate and Marty immediately rushed inside, hugging Cole. John watched them together and he felt a twinge of ... </span>
  <em>something</em>
  <span>. Something he hadn't felt in so long that it was barely recognizable. But it felt oddly like ... </span>
  <em>coming home...</em>
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